Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Red Bank area group for mothers of preschoolers dishes out bagels, advice and camaraderie to women from all over Monmouth County.
It's 9 a.m, on a recent Thursday and a steady stream of women filters into the basement of Tower Hill Church in Red Bank, and though this is a house of worship upstairs, these women are looking for a different kind of sanctuary. Ducking out of the rain, with diaper bags, strollers and children in tow, mom after mom comes through the basement doors and is greeted by a smile and a "Hey, I'm so glad you made it." They're here for a twice monthly meeting of the group Mothers of Preschoolers or MOPS, for short. Like "Cheers," everybody here knows your name, and if you're a mom who's too tired to remember her own name, they'll supply you with a nametag, childcare, a cup of coffee and two hours of blissful adult conversation. By the time 9:30 a.m…
Thursday, August 25, 2011
There's a new addition to our family's first-day-of-school-photo gallery.
There’s a picture pinned to the bulletin board in my kitchen, half hidden by silly greeting cards and bumper stickers that I fancy, which is our iconic family back-to-school photo. In it, my oldest two children stand on the front step of our old house, a basket of late-summer impatiens drooping behind them, on the occasion of the eldest’s first day of preschool, just shy of his fourth birthday. These were the days when they dressed in what I picked out for them, so they are wearing patterned, elastic-waist shorts – his in plaid and hers are floral – with their polo shirts neatly tucked in. Pinned to the front of each shirt is a construction paper nametag that had been sent by the teacher to be worn on the first day of school. My son’s has …
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Can someone please tell my kids I have a job and cannot drive them to the mall right now?
Most mornings this summer, my 18-year-old son will peel his body out of bed slightly before noon and make his way to my bedroom/office and ask me the following question: “What are you doing today?” By yesterday, I had had enough. “I’m working,” I shouted at him. “I work every day. I have a boss and a job and a paycheck that I’m supposed to earn.” He stood there blinking at me and suggested I relax, but really, I had reached my limit. I know it’s probably confusing for my kids. There I am most days sitting at my desk alongside the bed in my room, generally in sweats or workout clothes. A lot of times I have Facebook or Twitter up on my laptop screen and by all appearances, I am simply frittering my day away, when I could be servicing them …
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Even though I'm not married, I'm never alone in my bed.
Since my ex moved out over two years ago, I’ve had a constantly rotating schedule of bed partners. Some of them steal all of the covers and kick me with their long legs, while others are so short that their presence barely registers in my king-size bed. What’s that, you ask? Am I some type of little person-loving, Chelsea Handler type? Have I joined the ranks of the Moms Gone Wild divorced gals? Sadly, or perhaps happily, it is usually one of my four kids who have staked his or her claim on the coveted spot beside me each night. Often, I come home late from an endless municipal meeting to find my room darkened and a big lump where reading material and remote controls usually sit. My immediate reaction is irritation: I’ve got stuff to do. …
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Just because my kids and I don't have the same last name doesn't make us any less of a family.
Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my return to using the name I was born with, thus setting off a round of confusion for anyone who’s gotten to know me using a different last name for the 20 years prior to that. As I was getting ready to finalize my divorce last year, I knew that I had the one-time opportunity to legally change my name the day the deed was completed with few additional costs (what a bargain) instead of paying to do so at a later date. I kept polling my kids as to how they would feel if my name was different from theirs, and finally one of my daughters was like, “Just do it already.” But the tipping point came at a board of education meeting while I was still a member. Board member names are called throughout …
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Having four kids is exhausting and overwhelming at times, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I dropped my third child off at sleep away camp for two weeks on Sunday and as I drove away, I had an overwhelming urge to weep, and it wasn’t because I was devastated to leave her (although she is my faithful companion). I wanted to cry because we shared a ride with our neighbors, who were dropping their two kids off for the two weeks and as we pulled away, I don’t know how they managed to refrain from breaking out into a halleluiah chorus or high fives, at the very least. But they are wonderful friends and saved the celebratory gestures until they got home to their very quiet, and very kid-free house. I left their minivan and walked across the street to find my three kids, one dog and fat cat all looking to be fed. Causing me to wonder, …
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
I sometimes wonder if my teen drivers could pull out of a paper bag, and I've got the bills to prove it.
Here are some things that I would invent if I could just find the time: a self-cleaning refrigerator; zero-calorie Chardonnay and rubber cars for my teenage drivers. The first two items would significantly improve my standard of living while the bouncy cars would help keep in check my steadily increasing car insurance premium. Since my oldest child got his driver’s license almost two years ago, and his sister this past March, there have been a total of four claims made through our auto insurance carrier (you’re welcome, Mr. USAA and all his stockholders). I’ve watched my daughter, flush with her newly issued driver’s permit, back directly into a Volvo SUV in our beach club parking lot last summer and then had the pleasure of dragging her …
Thursday, June 30, 2011
How a spooky documentary and cleaning out my closet helped me find some balance amongst the chaos.
The other night, as I worked through the horror of discovering I could not access my On Demand feature through Verizon (curse them) and watch another naughty episode of Game of Thrones on HBO, I found myself scrolling through the guide until another show caught my eye. I clicked “Ok” and found myself engrossed, and slightly repelled, by the 1975 documentary Grey Gardens. It’s a cautionary tale of an aging mother and daughter living in abject squalor in a sprawling East Hampton shingled mansion, as their tale of broken dreams, with a side dish of crazy, unspools before the camera. Edith “Big Edie” Ewing Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith “Little Edie” Beale would have served as perfect fodder for TLC’s Hoarding: Buried Alive or Hoarders …
Thursday, June 23, 2011
There's a new Mommy War brewing, and I'm throwing down the gauntlet.
I’ve read that the Mommy Wars were over; that both the stay at home and working moms have ultimately concluded that neither camp is perfect—you’re facing mixed emotions and potential time in therapy regardless of the path you take. Sure, we moms have our share of differences. Some of us like to nurse our babies long enough that the child can walk up and pull up our shirt; while others would prefer to scatter Cheerios and bits of American cheese on a tray in front of her child and call it dinner. There are moms who like to have the Today Show playing in the kitchen during breakfast, bringing the kids up to speed on the latest details of the Casey Anthony murder trial; and moms who want to shield their kids from real world horrors like child…
Teresa Benosky
1:05 pm on Thursday, November 17, 2011
Another great day at MOPS!! All the women got together in support of Opertion Christmas Child. We have more then exceded our goal of 50 boxes. Way to go girls. All things are possiable through the Grace of God!! more ›